remember when we sat on your kitchen floor and you tried to teach me how to play the guitar? and i just couldn't and i laughed so hard i almost puked. then we went outside and had some wine. i'm sitting here, i have the t-shirt on that you gave me, and it still smells like you. though it was several months ago. it still smells like you do (did..). i really don't know how i'm going to get through this. you're in my heart forever and i just wish that i had gotten to know you better. what was going on in your head? why did you make that final decision? i'm so angry at you and i miss you so much. damn. i can't eat, i can't sleep, i can't think. all i do is cry. and sniff on YOUR t-shirt. i think i love you. and now you're gone. you were such a happy person (at least you seemed to be) and you laughed all the time, joked around. why didn't you get help? i hate you for being so weak. wish i would have had the opportunity to get to know you for real. you made me smile.