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Do you believe in....Love :/

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8 years 1 month ago #133514 by skidrozes
Replied by skidrozes on topic Do you believe in....Love :/
I believe in love, because it's a feeling I experience every day. Of course it exists ... it's just not always requited. And if you mean in the sense that the person will always love you back, well, it happens. If two people meet and really never seem to come apart at the seams (or they work through it because from a place of love and honesty they both want it to work out for the right reasons), then it exists. It's just that without participation we can't be sure. But short of waiting for it to happen to us, what more evidence do we need? And I don't say this from a position of being smug either, because I'm apparently single.

Anyway I have this whole theory about how we all go through phases, and there's a phase people find terrifying which is the one where we feel like we've "gone off" sex and/or love of various kinds and we don't know when (if ever) we'll start wanting it again. Most people take that to mean something's wrong with them, but it actually normal, and likely to happen more than once. Sooo... it's all about recognising that barely anyone is "into it" all the time (including family/friend relationships), and that real love is deeper than romance. Almost every situation involving other humans becomes easier to bear when you know that scientifically, emotions or lack of them are nobody's fault. Just my take on the permanency of "love" feelings. :) I find it hard to believe that anyone is "to blame" for a breakup unless one or both lacked honesty.


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8 years 1 month ago #133568 by mrs v. viper
Replied by mrs v. viper on topic Do you believe in....Love :/

skidrozes wrote: Anyway I have this whole theory about how we all go through phases, and there's a phase people find terrifying which is the one where we feel like we've "gone off" sex and/or love of various kinds and we don't know when (if ever) we'll start wanting it again. Most people take that to mean something's wrong with them, but it actually normal, and likely to happen more than once. Sooo... it's all about recognising that barely anyone is "into it" all the time (including family/friend relationships), and that real love is deeper than romance.


that's quite a interesting statement. Also, all that "he/she doesn't care for me the way I do care for her/him" is in my opinion often just a horrible misunderstanding. I have those times for exemple, when I just can't have people around me. Or when I just want to do some things with other people. it happens quite often actually. Some people need more space than others I think, and for the one who needs less it's always harder. I can just say that if I say "I want to be alone" it's very very very far away from "I don't want you here" or "I don't like having you with me". I still love my people very very much, and in emergencys I'd always be there, I just often need time only for myself and then I'm not ready to listen to everyday topics or to go out or to do whatever, but that doesn't mean I don't care. at all.
Also, some people just can't express their feelings so well. classic and a it cheesy exemple:: just because someone writes his facebooks posts with less hearts, it doesn't mean he feels less love.

in my opinion, the reason that so many relationships go wrong is simply a lack of trust, a lack of really knowing each other, and a lack of independence from each other. You should live beside and with each other and not from each other I think.

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8 years 1 month ago #133569 by izzie
Replied by izzie on topic Do you believe in....Love :/
A good relationship are the one were your partner are able to forgive you for your mistakes and misunderstandings.

I'm sure some great writer has said this, otherwise I'm putting my trademark on it :lol:

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8 years 1 month ago #133570 by gothMINd
Replied by gothMINd on topic Do you believe in....Love :/

izzie wrote: A good relationship are the one were your partner are able to forgive you for your mistakes and misunderstandings.

I'm sure some great writer has said this, otherwise I'm putting my trademark on it :lol:

great! ..i totally said that in my post, where's my trademark :/

but anyway yes.. it's really important to be able to forgive

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8 years 1 month ago #133580 by fizzy
Replied by fizzy on topic Do you believe in....Love :/

izzie wrote: A good relationship are the one were your partner are able to forgive you for your mistakes and misunderstandings.

I'm sure some great writer has said this, otherwise I'm putting my trademark on it :lol:


would you forgive your partner having an affair?

"So you ask me how it feels to be a stick in the wheel
I tell you honey it feels alright
to be another clog in the wrecking machine
wouldn't even cross my mind"

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8 years 1 month ago #133584 by gothMINd
Replied by gothMINd on topic Do you believe in....Love :/

P. fizzy Suxx wrote:

izzie wrote: A good relationship are the one were your partner are able to forgive you for your mistakes and misunderstandings.

I'm sure some great writer has said this, otherwise I'm putting my trademark on it :lol:


would you forgive your partner having an affair?

could you?

you know it always depends on the problem.. somethings are just easier to forgive, and some are unforgiven..

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8 years 1 month ago #133587 by izzie
Replied by izzie on topic Do you believe in....Love :/

P. fizzy Suxx wrote:

izzie wrote: A good relationship are the one were your partner are able to forgive you for your mistakes and misunderstandings.

I'm sure some great writer has said this, otherwise I'm putting my trademark on it :lol:


would you forgive your partner having an affair?

No because that's not a mistake, that is an action you know are wrong... I think there's a great difference between that and a honest mistake

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8 years 1 month ago #133593 by fizzy
Replied by fizzy on topic Do you believe in....Love :/
yep I agree, I think I would never forgive that apart from rape, you are always responsible with whom you sleep doesnt matter if you are drunk or on drugs

"So you ask me how it feels to be a stick in the wheel
I tell you honey it feels alright
to be another clog in the wrecking machine
wouldn't even cross my mind"

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8 years 1 month ago #133596 by XiLaii
Replied by XiLaii on topic Do you believe in....Love :/

gothMINd wrote: you know it always depends on the problem.. somethings are just easier to forgive, and some are unforgiven..

I disagree. It doesn't depend on the problem, it depends on the people.

There are some people who don't forgive anything, who bring up every little mistake you ever made in every little argument and such. People who break up with people for the smallest little things. Friends that stop talking over tiny little fights.

Then there are people who forgive everything their partner (or even friends, family, strangers) regardless of how horrific it is. I mean, the same person might be really forgiving of their partner but not take any shit from their friends. I still think it's down to the person, and their 'fractured lens' way of looking at the situation.

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8 years 1 month ago #133601 by mrs v. viper
Replied by mrs v. viper on topic Do you believe in....Love :/
hmm, I think it's a bit of both. I think even a very forgiving person might find it easier to forgive a forgotten date than for exemple a intentionally forgotten date (okay these exemples are really made up) (oh just notice that that got mainly said already xD)

but I don't know. I think the more you feel for someone the easier it is to get hurt by that person. And I think therein lies a danger that you start to feel like you "forgive" flaws a person may have. I mean there is a difference between an actual mistake which might be forgivable or not forgivable, I mean some mistakes just are a no go, and flaws a person has. for exemple if a person just has a hard time to be in time, because it's in his slightly messy nature, and the partner starts to forgive him being late... thats wrong I think. there is nothing to forgive really. I think its one of the most common breakup reasons, that people take the flaws someone has personal because you are so close. and that can only go wrong, no matter how hard we try we will always have our flaws.
I think accepting might be much more the keystone to a good relationship than the being able to forgive.

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8 years 1 month ago #133628 by gothMINd
Replied by gothMINd on topic Do you believe in....Love :/

XiLaii wrote:

gothMINd wrote: you know it always depends on the problem.. somethings are just easier to forgive, and some are unforgiven..

I disagree. It doesn't depend on the problem, it depends on the people.

There are some people who don't forgive anything, who bring up every little mistake you ever made in every little argument and such. People who break up with people for the smallest little things. Friends that stop talking over tiny little fights.

Then there are people who forgive everything their partner (or even friends, family, strangers) regardless of how horrific it is. I mean, the same person might be really forgiving of their partner but not take any shit from their friends. I still think it's down to the person, and their 'fractured lens' way of looking at the situation.

yes some people do tend to fight over little stuff, becuz they get hurt easily, becuz when you love someone alot, and maybe it bothers them..but maybe you can show them its just little stuff and explain to them..and thats why its forgivable.. but you cant really say whats forgivable or not, beucz you dont know the problem yet, it always depends on the problem.. people can change, but you can't change the problem..

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8 years 1 month ago #133719 by skidrozes
Replied by skidrozes on topic Do you believe in....Love :/
@ mrs v. viper - Oh yeah, definitely. I go through that so often that it's neither a phase nor a cycle and actually just a mood. :) My statement was rather about longer periods of lacking attachment to people - but I know a disproportionate amount of people who are asexual/aromantic which probably makes my point less valid.

XiLaii wrote: I disagree. It doesn't depend on the problem, it depends on the people.

:O That's exactly what I was about to say! I think every scenario and individual relationship is so specific that nobody can judge whether another should afford forgiveness to someone. And hmm, about forgiving flaws - what if the person's "flaws" they speak of are restricted to things that seem to annoy other people (e.g. bad punctuality, nail biting, shyness, extroversion, that level of "flaws") but that you don't even notice yourself? Because I kinda had that, was with someone who thought he was annoying and have known some people who think that about him, but I'm completely blind to it. I would say it's just really fortunate if not only do you not suffer from your partner's minor irritations, but you also don't see them - if they are minor, that is. I think it just shows you could be the right person because it isn't tolerance - it's your unique "vision" of them. It doesn't mean you won't call them out on a bigger problem one day. Anyway what if both you and your partner are chronically late? If you have the same flaws, some would say you're "welcome to each other"!


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